Becoming Your Own Best Friend: The Secret to Self-Worth

What if you were best friends with yourself?

Really, imagine that. What would your life look like?

How would you eat? Move your body? Spend your money? What would you stop tolerating? How clean and calm would your home be?

Most importantly, how would you talk to yourself? Would it be softer, encouraging, kind?

Becoming your own best friend.

This feels like the secret to everything: feeling good in your body, attracting healthy love, and showing up fully in your career. Because when you like yourself, your choices reflect that.

When you know yourself, decisions are easier. You set better goals. You have clarity. And you begin to feel a delicious sense of freedom.

Why? Because you’re not policing yourself with harsh rules. You actually want to take care of yourself.

Let’s talk about how to build the most important relationship of your life: the one you have with you.

How to Become Your Own Best Friend

Just like any meaningful relationship, becoming your own best friend takes time, energy, and a bit of intention.

The key is to spend time with yourself.

Connect with your own thoughts. Create space to notice how your body feels. Pay attention to how you react to your environment.

Before you get overwhelmed that this is another thing to add to the endless to do list, you can do this within your existing routines. Easy! (And no excuses).

Simple, Nourishing Ways to Spend Time With Yourself:

Morning coffee in the sun. My personal favourite. Sometimes I journal, sometimes I just sit and ponder. I love noticing the birds and the autumn leaves. It’s peaceful, it’s grounding, and it sets the tone for my day.

Walk without distractions. No headphones, no podcasts, no scrolling. Just you, the rhythm of your steps, and the world around you. I get my best ideas when I do this. If you're used to being distracted 24/7, walking eases you into being alone with your thoughts.

Everyday luxury. Candles lit. Music playing. A drink that's a bit special. Fresh flowers in a vase. Since starting breastfeeding, I love lighting a candle to make my environment feel a bit special amongst the routine of it all. An easy way to make yourself feel special.

New and Full Moon journaling. If you’re into the woo (or even just curious), follow accounts like @moonomens or @nadinejane_astrology and use their prompts. Even if astrology isn’t your thing, the reflection questions are pure gold. The reason I love astrology is the system is holistic so over the course of a year, the prompts will cover all aspects of your life. A great reflection practice!

Learn more about yourself. Whether it’s understanding your cycle, doing a psychometric test like Myers-Briggs, diving into Human Design, or exploring astrology... follow your curiosity. The goal is self-acceptance.

I remember reading about my Human Design and learning that the first 30 years of my life were meant to be experimental. That single insight helped me feel so much more peace. Maybe I was exactly where I’m meant to be. That's the power of the insights you can gain from frameworks.

Building Self-Worth and Truly Valuing Yourself

There's every chance right now your brain is coming up with all kinds of excuses about how this is stupid, you're fine as you are, you don't have time, who believes this rubbish and so on.

That's a clear sign that you're not comfortably prioritising your relationship with yourself.

So we need to go back a step and build some self worth. When you value yourself more, you'll recognise the need for being your own best friend.

Here are a few ideas:

Think about your best friend. They’re incredible, right? Would someone that fabulous choose to be close with someone who wasn’t equally amazing? Of course not. See yourself through their eyes—and tell them what they mean to you while you’re at it. Not to fish for compliments, but because love shared is love magnified.

Keep a compliment log. As a coach, I collect testimonials, and they’re my go-to on tough days. We’re wired to remember the painful stuff. So we have to intentionally focus on the kind words.

Make a list of 100 ways you’re awesome. Yep, 100. It might take a few days, but your brain will start scanning for evidence. And by the time you finish, you’ll be saying, “Damn, I’m actually pretty amazing.”

It's going to feel weird at first but keep going. I promise it's worth it.

Three Actions To Take Today To Deepen Your Self-Connection

You’re most motivated to act right now, while this is fresh. So do something today:

Plan a self-date. Choose one idea above, gather what you need, and book it into your calendar. Anticipation is part of the magic.

Spend 30 minutes celebrating YOU. Use any of the self-worth exercises above, or something else that feels good and nourishing. There are no rule, just joy.

Spread the love. Do something kind for someone else. Write a review for a favourite book or podcast. Send a sweet message. Do the dishes for your flatmate. Then mentally high-five yourself and move on with your day.

Becoming your own best friend doesn’t require perfection. It just asks for your presence. Your curiosity. And your willingness to meet yourself where you are.

Because you are already worthy. You just have to remember it.

For support in becoming your own best friend, have a look at AIM Coaching.